xanthan gum

This had a beautiful, wispy feeling to it until right here: With its wise snore. Snore? It's so "un-airy". And how do you have a wise snore, anyway? Otherwise, beautiful ...

Strawberry pink on the decisive blue lines As the taste of postage stamps linger on tongues Flashing by countless bright yellow street signs Here we have fallen - so honest, ...

at you (past you.) this worked. however, it used "you" twice in four words. ack. it just sounded awkward read aloud. I only let it stay and felt much colder ...

Self-piteous and cliche ridden? Perhaps. But who isn't? And I believe the way that Brad writes such overrun themes transforms it into something a bit more. Actually, on a truly ...

I feel that you could expand on this, because the idea is rather complimentary. I also believe that you should change the title, as it happens to seem...irrelavant to the ...

Most of your poetry is very enjoyable because you convey flashing image after image that somehow seem related, and beautiful - sharing a common underlying feeling. Still, I feel that ...

i didn't really enjoy the addition of the Ramona lyrics. first off, it was partly not even your own work - half of it was song quotes. secondly, they intervals ...

beautiful images. i definitely enjoyed the ending. not much to say, but i think your poetry is improving. deborah is also (besides from the bible) my mom's name. *shudders*

It’s almost comical From an outsider’s view But here, inside, I’m suffocating Kiss me on my sickened brow, Your lips planted in darkness Seeds of doubt on my forehead Burrowing ...

Previously explained in the story - Tommy is a prisoner of war from Reading, England, which is invaded by Lachonton and Naracima forces, who spark the more foul moraled side ...

thank, zany. that helped a lot

i admit that i found this rather average, cardboard cut and dull. pershaps you can expand on this vision of black and white love to something more eloquent and poetic.

He was a day-gazer Articulate, motivated, past The rush of air on wintry mornings Swift and competitive Tasteless on the tongue But fire on the soul I swayed before jumping ...

Frankly, what Brian was saying what that it had beautiful images but no point. It's almost like it's half finished. you can make it twice more meaningful by adding a ...

this was good. a bit morbid and dark, but i can't complain as i've written similar. despite the slight off-rhythm beat, which is okay, but odd, it was relatively good.